Monday, February 23, 2004

I hate white people! 

Captain’s Blog. Stardate 20040223.

nader Ralph Nader is another dumb cracker fucking it up for the black man. Don’t he know what he’s doing with his lazy-eye approach to being lazy-eyed? He is dumb, America, and we should not vote for this man.

I bet you he’s really a Republican at heart and keeps posing as a liberal to cost the Democrats countless elections.

Look at his lazy-eyed self trying to kick it to some young hippy white girls with his whole, “I’m green party, baby,” approach. We is not feeling you.

Black Power! Black Power!

Uhura over and out. I holla!

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

John Kerry ain't nothin but a dumb cracker 

Captain’s Blog. Stardate 20040218.

Uhura wants to say that John Kerry’s bid for the Democratic ticket is a damn shame. That boy don’t know nothing bout running no country. People are so scared of Al Sharpton like he’s gonna get to D.C. and turn it into the Black House. Why are white people so afraid of black people? One time this old white lady on the Enterprise saw me walking down the hallway and grabbed her purse like I was gonna snatch it. Bitch, whacha think I’m gonna do, grab it and jump out the ship? We’re in space!!!

So now this election is gonna come down to whether Dubya served or passed on his Air Guard duty. I don’t care! I just wanna know what’s gonna happen when my child isn’t left behind. If my kids is keeping up but it’s not because they’re getting smarter, it’s because the classroom is dumber, is that good? NO! No Child Left Behind is slowing up the smarter kids. Let them go out and achieve. Don’t bog ‘em down with no tutorials they don’t need. All it does is take valuable classroom time away.

If Al Sharpton were President it would scare the white people. I know this. But lets get Jesse Jackson in there as the V.P. and he can be like Clinton, picking up chicks on the job. That’s pimp right there, don’t hate. The Reverend scoops ‘em up like Haagen Dazs.

John Kerry ain’t nothin but a dumb cracker… there I said it. At least that Howard Dean is funny all screaming and getting flustered over shit. But I don’t like no Dubya, he dumbing down my kids and furrows his eyes when he talks.

I still think it’s not too late for Sharpton. Keep hope alive. A vote for this man is a vote against the man!

Uhura checkin out, I holla!

Parisitical Meltdown 

Captains Blog's

Stardate 2004.2.18

The hearts and minds of the crew have been made heavier this week by the once again crushing defeat of our loveable presidential candidate Howard "The Hollerer" Dean. Dean suffered a defeat once again at the hands of Democratic adulterer John Kerry. The times certainly have changed. One of the greatest leaders of our Federation was almost ousted for his solicitation of oral sex from a plump presidential intern. And now they are willing to accept a subpar candidate? It seems that the Federation is destined to endure another four years of the political puppet known as George Bush. Mr. Bush, Dick Chaney’s host organism, seems to be held in high regard by the people of the federation, regardless of his past demonstration of unequivocal stupidity. Parasitical creatures such as Mr. Chaney have threatened the lively hood of the Federation countless times before, and yet my fellow citizens have not yet learned their lesson. How do they expect a man lacking in moral values to possibly stand a chance in defeating Mr. Chaney. Only time will tell.