Wednesday, January 28, 2004

Shunned Again 

Captain’s Blog. Stardate 20040128.

Al Sharpton was shunned again last night. Uhura don't like that.

Something really need to change. New Hampshire has like 3 people living there, they shouldn't hold this much power in the primaries. We're selecting a President here, people.

Uhura checkin out. I-holla.

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

It's an Outrage! 

Captain’s Blog. Stardate 20040120

Uhura just wants to say that it’s not cool that Al Sharpton didn’t even get a vote in Iowa. I know he wasn’t even campaigning there, but it’s just preposterous. Black people need to come together. Where are all the Iowa black people at? It's starting to look like Vermont over there.

Bill Clinton, though, he was a cute one. Uh hum, Uhura give him a little something if he want it!


Monday, January 19, 2004

Uhura checkin in 

Captain’s Blog. Stardate 20040119.

I’m sorry about being late to publish on this here web-page, but you know a sultry momma like me had to do it right. Plus, these computers don’t know a damn thing about catering to a woman. That’s right, they need to check they-selves. I am a Captain now and I do what I wanna do. So if I want to talk like this then this is how I’m gonna talk. And this damn computer is just gonna have to adjust.

Small aside, I don’t know why everyone keep getting on that Britney girl’s case. She is young, and she is hot, and if she wanna be a slut she can because whorin it up is fun. When I was a young girl they used to call me O-Whora, because there wasn’t one #%^@ in the village I hadn’t tasted. And now look at me? I’m a Captain, suga!!! So have your fun now, Britney.
That’s all for now, ya’ll keep checkin in for me. I’ma say some interestin things on this here web-page. I-holla!

PS- I need one of the security officers to come to my quarters ASAP, I can’t get my damn phaser workin right.

Friday, January 16, 2004

Captain’s Blog: Stardate 20040116.

Welcome aboard the USS Odd Positions. I am Commander Pavel Andreievich Chekov. The Blogs, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Odd Positions. Its 3-year mission: to explore strange new worlds (namely our own), to seek out new life (hopefully one that is educated) and new civilizations (ones that are better for our kids), to boldly go where no man has gone before (Britney Spears’ pants)! She is claiming to be a virgin still, right? This is only a 3 year mission. That is how long President Bush has granted me amnesty to work in this country. After the 3 years I must return to Russia. But for now my comrades and I will explore a barrage of different topics ranging from the mundane (Why we look at the toilet paper after we are done wiping) to the more important issues of our time (Why we look at the toilet paper after we are done wiping). Just kidding!!! That’s not really that important. My comrades will introduce themselves shortly. Enjoy.

Captain's Blog. Star date 20040116

The federation has decided to implement a new log system for all galaxy class starships. The new interface seems to be a little awkward, but I believe that is true for all new forms of technology. This being my first use of the blogger interface, I will constrain my first log to a short text message just to make sure the system is working under normal parameters.